Psychology Insights: Forgiveness

Continuously delving into the topic of forgiveness, as the participants have expressed, we initially may have considered forgiveness as an elective course, but later realized that it is a mandatory course for a fulfilling life, enabling us to thrive together.

 

Forgiveness entails liberating oneself from negative emotions and attachments to the source of harm. The source of harm can be anyone or anything that requires forgiveness—ourselves, another person, or a situation beyond our control. By embracing forgiveness, we free ourselves from inner anguish. The character "恕" represents likeness or similarity, while the character below it signifies the heart. Thus, forgiveness grants us a heart at ease. It is an attitude intertwined with our beliefs, values, self-identity, and the vision we hold for our future. It correlates with what matters in our own life, the skills we wish to cultivate, and the actions we take. Without forgiveness, our perspective narrows, tension grips our muscles, and negative emotions such as resentment and anger engulf us, hindering our ability to find genuine happiness.

 

Dr. Frederick, in his book "Forgive for Good" writes, "People who forgive show less depression, anger and stress and more hopefulness, so it can help save on the wear and tear on our organs, reduce the wearing out of the immune system and allow people to feel more vital." Therefore, we mustn't allow those who have offended us to control our emotions. We must reclaim the reins of our lives. Those who grasp the power of forgiveness can maintain high energy levels, enjoy a pleasant disposition, and regain sovereignty over their own lives.

 

To forgive others is to heal ourselves, and to forgive ourselves is to better support others. Forgiveness serves as an essential tool for establishing profound and positive connections—with ourselves, with others, and with the world.

 

We can employ the REACH Model to navigate the path of forgiveness. Drawing from my personal experience of enduring profound injuries, let me illustrate this process. Imagine being involved in a car accident caused by a drunk driver while waiting at a red light. Tragically, your loved ones—the twin children and your partner—lose their lives, leaving you disabled and necessitating lifelong rehabilitation. The surviving twin daughter also suffers from deep emotional wounds. It has taken me many years to traverse the road of forgiveness in relation to this event.

 

Recall: Recollect the pain and fundamental nature of the harm inflicted in an objective manner. Visualize the moments before and after the accident, beholding the imagery of both parties involved. Confront the harm inflicted upon yourself, your family, and the offender's family, without flinching. The injuries were severe, enduring, and far-reaching in their impact.

 

Empathize: Seek to understand why the offender harmed you from their perspective, fostering empathy between both parties. Recognize that the offender and your family had no personal animosity. It was an unconscious act that caused significant loss and harm. The offender is consumed by remorse.

 

Altruist Gift: Reflect on occasions when you have caused harm to others, experiencing guilt, and recall instances where others forgave you. Consider the example of Eleven, our pet dog, who forgave me despite accidentally causing it injury and fracture. Over time, Eleven grew closer to me, benefiting both our lives. Eleven's altruistic forgiveness taught us valuable lessons.

 

Commit: Make a commitment to forgiveness, relieving oneself from inner suffering. I cannot allow my daughter to dwell in hatred and resentment. Regardless of the circumstances, I want her to perceive a world brimming with love and hope. To achieve this, I must embark on the path of forgiveness. I must embody love, possess love, and radiate love.

 

Hold: Strive to uphold the commitment. It is not an easy task when confronted with the fluctuations and enduring impacts of life's journey. Continuously return to your original purpose, remembering who you are, the life you aspire to live, and your goals. The process is challenging but immensely worthwhile, isn't it?

 

Gratitude: Express gratitude for your own efforts in persistently pursuing the path of forgiveness, and for the unwavering support from family and friends.

 

 

How to cultivate a happy life? I will leave myself and visitors with a few simple tasks:

 

1. Give a little more: Find joy in fulfilling the desires of others, doing things that bring them happiness.

 

2. Be more grateful: Never take for granted any act of kindness extended to you by anyone. Sincerely express gratitude and appreciation for the actions of others.

 

3. Forgive a little more: It is normal for family members and colleagues to make mistakes. Instead of complaining or blaming, offer comfort and warmth. Let's work together to find ways to improve for the next time.

 

 

In summary, the highest form of forgiveness is:

 

1. Preemptive forgiveness: Forgiving in advance, even before the need for forgiveness arises.

 

2. Genuine forgiveness: When you realize that there is nothing that requires forgiveness.

 

Incorporating the ideology of TVCMALL and the spirit of "Together We Thrive," let us optimize the concept of forgiveness and nurture an environment where we can all thrive together.